Body Cuts photographed on Day 2
Claire fell pretty seriously for the first time 2 days ago. While I blame myself for taking my eyes off her (although sometimes it's really tiring to keep watching her all the time), I thank God the cuts were only surface wounds and should heal up fast.
We were walking home from the carpark and took one of the usual routes. It was just a large pavement with a small drain on one side. The drain opening was about the size of Claire's body width. I walked in front of Claire and K was behind her and before I knew it, K yelled. I can't remember what he yelled now, but the minute he did, I turned and saw Claire in the drain, her arms supported her from falling further. It was a deep drain.
She started crying and I think more so from the shock of falling into a drain and when we pulled her out, we found one side of her tee shirt lifted up to her armpits and the side of her body scratched. After a while it started bleeding and we had to get it washed and wrapped up. Poor baby. I guess she wasn't looking when she was walking.
Nevertheless being the mom I am, I started questioning myself about slacking off even for that brief moment. Honestly I do that quite often, mostly when I think it's a safe place. Bad.
Claire's better today. The wound hasn't completed dried up because we had to put on a large bandage when she goes to school. Interestingly she wanted to. I wanted to stay home with her but she said she wanted to attend class. According to her teacher, she went around showing everyone her wound/bandage and told them that she fell into a drain and asked for a hug. My mom says she's as manja as I was, am. :)
So sorry to hear about little Claire...I'm praying that she heals quickly.
ReplyDeleteDo not blame yourself...guilt is never beneficial to the bearer. You have to realize that you cannot be everything for your daughter at all times. I know, because I've had to accept the same thing. I have two children and I've had to release their care to the Heavenly Father. One thing, He is everywhere, all the time, seeing everything. So I've got to be able to trust that He is better qualified and more able to care for my children than I am. Then, I have to see that "it could've been worse", so to speak. When I realize that it could have...I can see in an instant that He was there, taking care of the situation. The outcome might not be exactly what I had in mind, but it wasn't as bad as it could've been either.
When my son was 3 1/2, we were at a picnic. He wanted to throw away his trash like a big boy...and I didn't think anything of it. In an instant, he had placed both of his hands on the BBQ grill, which had been in use for over two hours. (The garbage can was next to it and he was curious.) It was the most horrible, painful thing for my baby and for me. I could've wrapped myself in the guilt of "you should've...why didn't you...on and on and on." Instead, I had to be thankful for the Lord's protection and realize what could've happened. There was a nurse right there...the hospital was only 20 minutes away, there was not fusing and he didn't need surgery. After a few painful weeks, he was healing and is totally normal today. So I must thank God, because He was caring for my son, when I couldn't be. =)
Sorry for the book, but I want you to feel free to let go of any guilt. Give to God and He will take care. God richly bless!
Hi Jo,
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain too. It must have been a shock for you as well when Claire fell. But, yet, happy for you both as Claire heals and is getting better and am glad that she is so cheerful despite what happened.
Don't feel guilty about it. I remember when Elliot fell and had to have his two front teeth extracted because the chip was so bad, that I cried for two whole days non-stop. This happened in June last year. I was filled with so much guilt for leaving Elliot alone for awhile while he was being towel-wrapped after a swim. But, I realised now that I could learn several things from this.
1) I should not let this experience mar my joy of parenthood. I should not be consumed by the guilt cos it was after all an accident and God also knows that we did not mean for that to happen.
2) We can be humbled by this that much as we pride ourselves on trying to be good parents. We can't protect our kids from danger forever. Only God can protect them. Sometimes, such accidents can cause us to see that God is bigger than our weaknesses and imperfections. He definitely has a higher purpose.
Elliot's speech is unaffected. He can still pronounce quite well and is very sociable. I am glad that after one year, he has also recently overcome his phobia of the water (as a result of that accident) and looks forward to swimming now.
Take care and hope you continue to press on as a dear mum and wife. Being faithful in parenting is more important that being successful in parenting.
Love,
Esther.